Dealing with RealityWhen you move in with someone in general, there’s going to be a moment when you realize that all of this just isn’t what you thought it was going to be. While your sub will still be completely dedicated to you, you’re also going to be around them all the time and will be seeing them in a different light. The two of you will get sick sometimes and others you’ll be feeling sad. Now you’ll have to care for each other in more ways than just sexually. The submissive will often be responsible for all of the household duties while the dominant will have to handle bills and the choices made within the household, for the household. Oftentimes couples become saddened because they realize that living together will often contribute to feeling more and more like a vanilla couple. There’s still fun to be had in the bedroom, but now you’ll have to start communicating and spending quality time together watching television or something. Playing at a constant fantasy to be the leather-clad dominant and the chain-bound submissive would get boring if you did it all day, so embrace the normality a little.
Setting up Ground RulesWhile life will be a little more like that of what you’re used to at work or with the family, there are still positions to be held. As a dominant you’re going to have to set up some ground rules for the house. Not just those that vanilla people use like the dishes need to be washed when they get dirty, either. A good in-house list might be:
The submissive will not:
– Hesitate to answer the Master’s call, wherever he may be in the house.
– Show disrespect to the Master’s choices
The submissive will:
– Perform all household duties that is required of them
– Attend to the needs of Master
– Tell Master what can be improved to better serve him (either verbally or in writing)
These are just a few examples of a very basic domestic slave. Obviously they will have to be tailored to your needs and household. Subs are put in a delicate position of always having to follow someone else’s rules, and if those rules aren’t clear they’re going to get confused and be unable to serve you to the proper extent.
Bring Out the Dominance in Your Everyday LifeNow that you live together you’re going to have opportunities you never had before. Chores are going to be so much fun now that the sub will be able to work nude and be decorated by a set of nipple clamps while doing it. Punishments can also be doled out immediately instead of waiting for the times you and your sub could get together throughout the week. Spankings, humiliation, power exchange, and servitude take only a few minutes throughout the day to perform and set your sub straight. You can also set up daily activities that require specific instructions to carry out and enjoy watching them happen. For example, set an order of chores that needs to be done, but the sub has to have a horse bit in their mouth at all times while doing them. It’s the little things that will add a touch of BDSM to your everyday life.
Talk About FinancesOnce you’ve moved in together you’re going to have to discuss how money will be a factor in your lives. Some households choose to have the dominant bring in all of the figurative bacon while others let their sub go to work and help out. A Dom will have to have a fairly high paying job to keep both people afloat, which could end up to him being stressed out and not wanting to punish or expand his slave/submissive. On the otherhand, having a sub that’s going to work might change the dynamics. Knowing that your sub is out there commanding other people or taking orders from someone else might make you feel uncomfortable, which is normal. Consider sending them off with a chastity belt or nipple clamps to make you feel more secure and let them know who’s still in charge. If sending them off in gear is still too much for you to handle, then try finding them a job that lets them work from home. Freelance writing, surveying, and song reviews are just a few ways he or she can earn a little bit of extra money for the household while never stepping foot into an office. To quell any need they might have for wanting to contribute otherwise, send them off with this money to go grocery shopping or to deliver the bills to where they need to go. Being able to put gas in the car or pick up some chicken gives your sub a sense of taking care of you.
Don’t Forget Why You Moved in Together
Moving through the transitory phase of getting a place together can be hard, as can meeting through something like fetish dating site rankings. But keep in mind that no matter how obstinate your sub becomes remember that they need your guidance, and right now they’re not having the easiest time becoming a full-time sub. Keep being stern with them, but also reassure them that you’re in this together. This sub was special enough for you to take charge of their everyday care and companionship, so try to remind yourself at least once a week what they did to deserve to move in with you. Keeping those positive thoughts on your mind will allow you to still connect with your sub and punish him or her in the right way, instead of taking out any resentment you might feel toward them.
Moving in with a full-time sub isn’t all that different from vanilla couples moving in together. The dynamic will change, and choices have to be made. The biggest difference here is that you will be the one in charge of making those choices. After you’ve gotten through the first few rough months you’ll be feeling a lot better about the whole situation. Who knows, maybe you’ll turn into the one giving legit advice on those fetish dating site rankings and knocking away all of those scam reviews so some D/S couple out there will have a better chance of getting alone when they move in together.